facing the two-faced...

I thought lying on my bed sobbing and feeling sorry to be on earth would be the answer at first, but turns out all it took to cheer me up was an awesome day with Tori and Sophia at the playground on London St. We took random pics and videos of ourselves being totally insane on the play equipment, then went back to my house an hour later to chillax floating on pool lounges, sipping lemonades and crankin the tunes. That afternoon, I laughed so hard that Casey and Savana were out of my system, and it made me feel sweet relief. Like a massive weight on my shoulder had been lifted. Unfortunetly, the rope that lifted it was only so strong, and it wouldn’t take much for it to snap… ♥ There were so many different ways I could go, when I arrived at school the next morning… (a) act like I had no idea about the message and it wasn't me who sent a reply, but that seemed really stupid (b) “set them straight and give them a serious girl to girl talking to, but then again, I would probably end up slapping someone…” or (c) give in and apologize for… um…… well obviously that one is unpractical because I am basically clueless as to why the whole thing was sent. But as I thought about choosing my option while I was walking towards the school gate, I saw them. ♥ Savana and Casey, hand-in-hand, giggling, and acting like they were très cool. They were heading straight for the gate - the same as me, and I really didn’t want to face them alone. Luckily they never saw me so I was able to sneak off behind a bush. I stayed there until they passed, trying to listen in to their conversation, but I wasn’t close enough. Once they were far enough away from me, I casually walked into the school grounds, heading towards my locker. ♥ I had butterflies filling my stomach, the nervousness was overwhelming, and caused the rope that held the weight off my shoulders to snap. I was still unsure how to approach the situation, then I remembered that Casey wasn’t in my class. It made me more relieved, since she was the bitchier one. I would only have to handle what Savana dished out, which from memory, wouldn’t be very hard. She had more of a shy disposition, and she only felt comfortable being up-front with someone if she had people to back her up. I was her only friend in the class, so she’d have no-one to be behind her. Which was good for me, I wouldn’t have to be so insecure. ♥ I took a deep breath before I entered the classroom, because I wasn’t really sure what to expect to see. “But out of all the possibilities, I never expected to see Savana. Sitting at her desk. With her head resting in her hand. Playing the victim.” She gave a faint glance in my direction, my guess is she was expecting me to sit in my usual spot next to her, so she could gloat about her fake sadness. Instead, I headed towards my usual desk, then when I was almost there, I took a quick detour to sit next to Danielle in an empty space, leaving a puzzled Savana behind. Danielle and I laughed and helped each other during maths and science, leaving Savana sitting alone looking jealously over at us occasionally. ♥ From my opinion, Savana deserved the pain. I wanted her to feel unloved and hated just like I felt when I read the message. But was I trying to be too mean to her? I don’t cope with fights well. I immediately want to get revenge, even though I try to contain myself and remain quiet about it.  But at the end of the school day, I asked Mrs. Palmer about counseling. She wondered if there was anything we needed to talk about, but I said I’d prefer to speak to a counselor. So she signed me up for it, and the weight felt like it was again lifted far above me. For now… there was always the anticipation of tomorrow…… ♥